Freja, my 7 year old, has a habit of saying that she loves herself most of all, because we always talk about the importance of loving yourself and how you need to love yourself to be able to give love to others. And it always feels just words and no action to me when she says it, because I see her getting into constant comparison with others and seeking improvement. So I asked her and myself, what does it ACTUALLY mean and what does it look like to LOVE YOURSELF?
And this is the diagram I came up with. I’m not sure how much it helped her, but I love looking at it on my little white board every night to try and drill it deeply into my brain… Hopefully Freja will follow the suit!
Can you see “I AM COMFORTABLE” at the top?
This is the part of loving yourself I want to talk about.
If you are taking baby steps towards self-love, here is a really easy way to start. I’m going to walk you through the types of questions you can ask yourself and the visual examples to go with them, so you can really get nitty gritty with what you are comfortable with when it comes to dressing. And I am not only talking about your physical comfort, but your emotional comfort too.
First, let’s look at your physical comfort.
1. What kind of shapes are you comfortable with? Do you like loose silhouettes or fitted?
Left @ Poetry , right @ Netflix
2. Do you like soft textures or rigid ones?
Left @ Massimo Dutti , right @ Netflix
3. Do you prefer natural fibres like linen, silk, cashmere or would you rather go for synthetic mix? If your skin is sensitive, perhaps natural fibres are best for you. Or, if on the other hand, you don't like ironing or dry cleaning or perhaps you travel a lot with work, then synthetic mixes would suit you better, so you don’t need to worry about ironing.
Left @ Poetry , right @ Libby London
4. Do you like wearing a high neck or would you rather let your neck breathe? (For example, I love the idea of a turtleneck and regularly recommend it to clients, but I, myself, can't wear one, it just drives me crazy.)
And now let’s look at your emotional comfort:
1. What kind of dresser are you? Do you dress for practical reasons or do you express yourself through clothes? If clothes are there just to keep you warm and you’ve got better things to think about, your best call is to find an easy, digestible style formular and stick with it. It could be as easy as a pair of high waisted trousers and a loose blouse or a jumper. Or it could be a shift dress. Once you answer all of the above questions on physical comfort, this will be easier to decide.
Left @ Whistles , right @ Libby London
2. If, on the contrary, you love expressing yourself through clothes, go all in!
3. How revealing do you like your outfits to be?
I hope this has been helpful! Let me know in the comments:)