We just came back from a holiday resort in the UK with a nice big water park. I’ve always been scared of rides and slides. And I mean ANY rides and slides, no matter how small. In contrast, my 6yo daughter went on the biggest, fastest, scariest ride called Tropical Cyclone. And this time I thought, enough is enough, I’m really gonna try my best and go down the slide. It wasn’t the Tropical Cyclone, but it was very steep and fast 🥶.
When I was standing at the top, my heart rate went up, my chest felt very tight, my stomach was churning… I was a terror! A few times I felt I just can’t do it and every time I felt tears burning my eyes. Every now and then a couple of random kids would come up to the slide with their parent and wait for me and I had to get up and let them through, which felt embarrassing too. But I’d get my strength together and I’d sit back down at the top.
Here is what I did to make myself finally go down:
I took a few deep breaths - Slow, deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system which decreases the heart rate. As your breathing becomes slower, your brain associates it with a state of relaxation.
I imagined in my head what it would be like to go down in every detail: I will go very fast and I will feel a drop in my stomach. I will land in the water with a big splash. The water will go in my eyes and my nose. It will feel very uncomfortable but it will last for a split second and I will be OK, there is definitely no danger to my life.
I was kind to myself and acknowledged that whatever I was going through was painful, rather than brushing it off.
And I DID go down the slide eventually! It was uncomfortable, but I DID it! And then I went 4 more times to seal the deal. Those times I tried to relax into it and see what it is that other people enjoy so much. I didn’t get to the enjoying it bit, but I stopped being afraid of going down and I’m sure next time I find myself in a water park it won’t feel as scary.💃🏽
And you know what I can now do with this memory? Any scary situation I’m facing, whether it’s public speaking, going on an even bigger ride or meeting with an investor, I can close my eyes, remember how I felt when I eventually plucked up the courage to go down this slide and let that feeling of achievement carry me into the next challenge.
And how does this all relate to clothes and style?
Sometimes I hear from my clients when we start working together that they would rather miss an event or a social gathering if they feel like they haven’t got the right outfit or if they feel big and bloated that day. So if any of you ever feel that way, here is what you do:
Just put on anything you wear on a daily basis
Take the first step and get outside your door
On the way to the event take a few deep breaths
Acknowledge how painful and scary it is for you to do this
Then imagine coming into the event and how it’s gonna go in small detail - people saying hello and doing a small talk, someone offering you a drink, etc
Acknowledge that it will probably feel uncomfortable
And try to put yourself into their shoes: people normally live in their own bubble - they are in their own thoughts, trying to impress each other
Have a few drinks and have fun!
Drop me a line the next day and arrange a free consultation, I can help you refresh your wardrobe and find your signature style no matter what size or shape you are, as the first impression matters, just not enough to stay at home and miss a party 😉