There are certain things which for one reason or another make me feel embarrassed or ashamed. Sometimes I think I need to behave or be in a certain way, because I advise people on their style, and I am not. I am not, because I am human, and I am not perfect, and actually quite far from it. I’m reading a book by Brene Brown “The Gift Of Imperfection: Let go of who you think you are supposed to be and embrace who you are”. Seriously, I want to share every other page from it!
Here are just 3 random bits I’ve highlighted:
I am a recovering perfectionist and an aspiring good-enoughist (totally working towards earning this title from now on!)
We can only belong when we offer our most authentic selves and when we’re embraced for who we are. (This is something I love talking about when I help my clients develop their unique style)
I bombed a talk like I had never bombed before or since (well, if Brene Brown bombed a talk, I can fail anything and come back up again!)
Anyway, I thought it would be a fun read for you to hear about some light hearted and some not so light hearted imperfections about me, and perhaps you can relate to some! Intrigued? Here we go:
1. I wear trainers with a massive hole at the front every day to drop the kids off at school. I do have nice shoes but these are just so comfy and take half a sec to put on - time spent on getting dressed is a very important element, as I’ve discovered since having kids.
Even though we live in pretty much what can be considered Central London, we are very lucky to have lots of parks right next to us and we have the most amazing route to school, through the field and the forest, with the birds singing and the mud to play with. So those trainers are perfect for that. The problem is, that at the end of it is a school with parents, wearing cool effortless outfits - and here I am, with my comfy black trainers with the hole, and light pink socks to make the hole shine as an accent in my outfit 😂.
I always go for comfort and practicality whenever possible. It’s been on my list forever to email Nike (that’s where the trainers are from) and to ask them if they can fix these… but to be perfectly honest, these trainers work and I’m just happy to wear them the way they are.
2. I don’t fold clothes neatly and I dump them on the floor.
WHAAAATTT? Well, actually dump is a very strong word, I lay them semi-carefully on the floor in the evening and then sort them in the morning. Maybe I need to get one of those wooden stands people have in their bedrooms to put the clothes on them… Having grown up in a small flat in Ukraine that sounds too fancy.
My strength is having few things and only having clothes which suit me and work with each other, clothes I wear regularly. Stuff makes me feel overwhelmed. I am also good at putting things in a way that is easy to reach so my brain doesn’t have to work hard. And I’m about to get even better at that as I’m going to go live on Instagram with Hannah Rose - home organising expert and I’m sure she will give me even more handy tips. Look out for it on the 23rd July at noon.
3. When I was 14 I used to hate my nose.
Whenever I’d be walking down the street and someone was approaching me, I’d turn my head away so they wouldn’t see my nose. I literally can’t believe now I used to do that! And I can’t remember how I grew out of it either... Ah well! Teenagers! Can’t wait for my daughter to be a teen! Yeah, right…
We tend to get into a spiral of blaming ourselves for the way we look and comparing ourselves to others, who have better bodies, better faces. We think of ourselves and our body as one whole. I find it very helpful to break down the way we look into tiny little chunks - face features, body features. Dissociate our mind and soul from our body and think of our body as a helpful tool we’ve got. Find one thing or a couple which we like about ourselves and build our body confidence and love from there.
4. I was called sloppy by my boss.
A very long time ago, in my early 20s, I worked as a stylist on TV in Kiev, Ukraine. And I was called sloppy by my boss for not having presentable, in his understanding, style.
I was so happy to move to London and discover the freedom and the creativity people have in the way they dress and express themselves. I’ve always gravitated towards worn out textures, I just love the faded effect in fabrics and the softness only inherent in fabrics well used. I don’t think this is for everyone, and we all have our unique preferences and styles we like, but I am happy that I am now in a place where I can wear the textures and styles which are close to my heart.
5. I compare myself to others.
Remember about the school and the parents? I do fall into the comparison game trap - how do I get out of it? I go back to the basics and remember the clothes I like and the things I’m good at. And I try to keep in mind that no one actually cares about my trainers with the hole in them, not at the school drop off anyway - people care about themselves and their busy days ahead.
If you’d like to know how I manage to look presentable and help others do the same, despite all of the above; if you are interested in how I can unleash your true self and help you create your own personal style formula, get in touch for a free chat!